Friday, February 5, 2010

Untitled

This week in particular seems to be one in which stories of suffering have been brought to my attention. Stories not heard on the news but from friends who are walking through them either in their personal lives or as they support another friend.

A friend who experienced a miscarriage after years of infertility which followed the loss of her precious son who lived for 3 days, a 2 year old with cancer in his brain and has already spread, a 27 year old husband and father of two who lost his battle with cancer, another young mother who experienced a miscarriage, a mother and 8 year old daughter whose health is not good as they search for answers about what is medically wrong with them.

My heart continues to jump from one story to the next as I try to wrap my head around the many questions I have and they must have as well. As I continued to jump from story to story today, I'd occasionally land on my story. My losses. My suffering. My grief.

Since last night, I've been repeating what Jesus said to Paul (which can be found in 2 Corinthians 12:9), "My power (strength) is made perfect in your weakness."

I absolutely, 100 percent times a zillion, can testify to that promise because I experienced it first hand. Because in my story of loss, suffering and grief, in my complete weakness, Jesus took over. Never have I felt so intimately close to my Jesus before.

Maybe that's why I never want to forget that time in my life.

Maybe that's why, even though I don't understand the "whys" behind the suffering of those who I can't stop thinking about right now, I am okay with that... because I know God will move. ...because I know the eyes of those who love Him will be fixed on Him and the eyes of those who don't yet know Him will be searching for him.

I really love this portion of a post Angie Smith wrote back in August 2008 because I feel like she captured what I've never quite been able to put to words.

"The depth of sorrow has a way of changing the way you share your life, your heart, your God. It makes you want to shout the name of Jesus because you realize that after all, in the very midst of it, He is real. It isn't just a big book. It's the truth, and it has changed me. He has used this season to show me an image of myself, kissing His feet while the tears slip to the ground. "

I love Jesus. Some of you might not understand that. Some of you might not care. Some of you might think I am weird (you're right but for other reasons). Some of you might love me because I love Jesus. Some of you might not. Some of you might love Jesus too. Some of you might not know Him.

But I do love Jesus. I love to talk about Him. I love to learn about Him. I love to sing to Him with my hands raised. I love to serve Him. He is as real as eyes you use to read these words.

I guess I should wrap up this post. I don't want to but it's almost midnight and I'm meeting a friend at 7 a.m. tomorrow morning to exercise (if I remember how to). But may I just leave you with some encouragement?

Whatever it is you are looking for... Whatever it is your life seems to be missing... Whatever unsettling feeling you have in your heart right now... Whatever worry looms over you right now... Whatever battle you may be fighting... Whatever just doesn't make sense...

He is your answer.

2 comments:

Teske said...

Yes, He is! Thank you for this encouragement, Lindsay! Bless you.

Amber Flinn said...

Hey Lindsay,
I love your heart! Thanks for caring so much about others. It may sound weird, but it is also so comforting to me that you can identify with times of suffering and grief. Also, I finally added the picture of Miles you created to my blog. Thanks so much for doing that...it makes me feel so special that you would do that for Miles. :)